AARREE – The informative way to build rapport as part of a mediation (Part 2)
July’s online mediation workshop saw delegates from a range of professional backgrounds discuss and practise the meditation tools Mr Sturrock QC advocates in his hugely helpful and easy to digest podcast series, which can be accessed here.
The practical training on how to conduct an effective mediation was invaluable and, dare I say it, fun? That said, the most valuable learning point for me was how effective mediation tools can be when used in other contexts.
As a family lawyer, my caseload often includes high conflict, emotionally fraught matters where parties can be reluctant to “get around the table” to mediate and there are sometimes good reasons why that wouldn’t be appropriate.
I appealed to Mr Sturrock QC for his view on how best to overcome impasse in those types of cases, particularly when an aggrieved client wishes to fight fire with fire. The answer was straightforward: the same tools can and should be utilised when communicating with clients and other agents in a more traditional negotiation.
Of most value to me is what Mr Sturrock QC describes as his most used tool to help in high conflict disputes: a mnemonic with six letters in it, AARREE:
Acknowledge the other person’s point of view
Accept that this is how they see it from their perspective
Recognise the impact on them and what they are trying to do
Reassure them that you respect them and want to find a way to deal with the situation
Engage with them on a human level
Explain your point of view and why you have reached it
The idea is that by approaching a dispute in this manner and addressing your opposite number’s perspective first, you will get your point across whilst ensuring they feel respected and valued.
In my field, where emotional matters are so often at the heart of the dispute, the value of ensuring both parties feel heard and respected cannot be overstated.
Since the workshop, I have also found that “AARREE” is an effective way of explaining to clients why there is value in adopting an approach that does not fan the flames of acrimony.
The workshop and accompanying podcasts made me re-evaluate how I communicate in my day to day practice: a skill we lawyers quite often overlook when thinking about our professional development. I’d thoroughly recommend the podcasts a listen on your next coffee break.
Ashley McCann, Senior Solicitor at Gillespie Macandrew