AARREE – The informative way to build rapport as part of a mediation
I am delighted to be able to 'blog' this month about my experience attending a online webinar that the Young Mediators’ Group hosted with renowned Mediator and Founder of Core Solutions John Sturrock QC in July.
Ahead of the webinar, we were all given some homework to listen to John's podcasts which can be found here. Being honest, at first, I thought, when I am ever going to find the time to listen to podcasts ahead of the Webinar, but I was presently pleasantly surprised to find that the podcasts were short 5-6 minute episodes, that I could easily listen too while I was in the midst of 'normal' lockdown life (primarily emptying the dishwasher!). I also enjoyed them for the escapism and to stimulate the grey matter. John's speaking voice is calming and measured, and I found that they were not only informative but relaxing.
The seminar began with a introduction from all attendees. I was really delighted that the Seminar offered a networking opportunity as well as educational content. The ability to see everyone on gallery view on Zoom was great and it was a pleasure to welcome new faces into my new, at home, office. The delegates too were from a very diverse background which offered insight into John's wide reaching reputation and provided a great basis for information sharing and collegiate working when we got into the practical element of the workshop.
John educated us on two mediation tools that he uses in his sessions. For the purpose of this blog, I am focusing on AARREE, which may be used to build rapport with each party to a mediation.
Acknowledge
Acceptance
Recognition
Reassurance
Engagement
Explanation
John emphasised that often disputes arise because of the parties’ point of view, it sounds obvious when you spell in in black and white, I mean, of course they have a different point of view, that’s why there is a dispute surely. However John gave us the example of a piece of Edam cheese (stay with me here), we all have incomplete pictures in our mind of a particular scenario, due to the stance/ view we are taking of the particular subject.
From one point of view you can see a triangle, from another point of view you can see holes, from another point of view you can see a square, but everyone is looking at the same thing.
The purpose of AARREE is to allow each party to a dispute to get a greater understanding of the other party’s parties point of view. This is achieved by listening to the other party’s parties view point, acknowledging that this is how they see things and accepting that this is important to them. Recognising that there is another way to see the problem is an important part of the understanding process, and providing reassurance to the other party that you take their position seriously. Finally you want to engage with the party, as you have given them your time to understand their position you are seeking their engagement to understand yours, which is then followed by explanation.
We were then asked to join break out room to practice AARREE on each other. John was keen to emphasise the importance of the order of AARREE and that steps should not be skipped or missed. Without question, I have found myself since the Webinar applying this technique (in particular with my 4 year old) so that I can try and understand another's point of view. I particularly want to say a heartfelt thanks to John for providing us with his time to prepare and present the webinar too all the attendees.
Lindsay Robinson, Associate at DWF and Co-Chair of the Young Mediators’ Group